How I practice active listening

Have you ever had a conversation with someone, and while they are talking you say, “I see,” “Hmm,” or even “Interesting”… but when they are finished, you ignore everything they said and go in with your pre-planned response? That’s called passive listening. 

When we practice active listening, we make the other person feel heard and valued. In this way, active listening is the foundation for any successful conversation. It serves the purpose of earning the trust of others and helping you to understand their situations. 

Active listening at work is particularly important if you are in a supervisory position or interact with colleagues. Active listening allows you to understand problems and collaborate to develop solutions.

I am trying to do better with active listening. Today I am sharing some of my verbal behaviors to show that I listen well when somebody talks to me. My next post will be about nonverbal behaviors I use to indicate I am paying attention. 

To show that I understand what the person is saying I paraphrase what the other person is saying to show you get the meaning. I ask open ended question. I ask questions that don’t have a simple “yes” or “no” answer to keep the conversation flowing. 

In addition, I try to include validation. I reinforce what the person is saying by indicating I understand. I also use the speaker’s name. That helps the person feel more valued by repeating their name at various points in the conversation or when I want to show I hear them.

It is pretty easy to nod my head and even easier to use the other person’s name. However, showing that I am not only paying attention but also comprehending takes some practice.

I remain committed to practice active listening and become better listener. I will also remember that listening is an active contribution to conversational dynamics rather than a passive act of receiving information.