Opportunity for a fresh start

What can you do to make your life better this year?

Don’t carry negatives (people, thoughts, actions) into the new year. 

They will only weigh you down and deter your positive thoughts and actions. 

Stop criticizing others and shooting down their input, comments and suggestions, whether that is at work, home or among those in your social circles.

While ridding your life of negativity, find time to do the things that truly make you happy.

If there are other areas of your life that you would like to change the new year provides an opportunity for a fresh start.

Who can you trust for diet advice?

The Internet serves as an accessible and confidential resource for individuals seeking nutritional and weight loss related information. 

However, the quality of information retrieved online is mixed and could have serious implications for users.

Each day, millions of teens and young adults are being fed contents on TikTok and other social media platforms that paints a very unrealistic and inaccurate picture of food, nutrition and weight loss.

I read that most diet advise on Tik-Tok platform came from young, white, female influencers. These influencers went viral for being attractive or charismatic. 

This topic, “who to trust” on weight loss and nutrition issues is especially important. When looking for credible weight loss information, one of the most important aspects to consider is the individual providing the information.

I am inclined to trust more the opinions of individuals who themselves struggled with weight loss, than those who never experienced it. 

I may be biased. 

Importance of learning from our mistakes

If something is your fault, admit it and learn a valuable lesson. 

Simple? Yes.

Easy? No, because of our ego, an unhealthy belief in our own importance.

The next time you make a mistake, try hard to take the “low ego” path. 

When you make a mistake, try to admit it as soon as you can, and apologize if necessary. Making an effort to apologize for a mistake can show that you respect the people who have been affected by the mistake. 

Apologizing can also show that you regret your mistake, that you are willing to take responsibility for it and that you're using it as an opportunity to improve yourself.

You can also consider telling other people in similar roles the lessons you've learned so that they can learn from your mistake.

Making mistakes can be a valuable learning opportunity. You can find lessons from your mistakes that can help you improve your skills and expand your knowledge. 

Making the same mistakes over and over can be costly in more ways than one.

I have some feedback for you

When someone says, “I have some feedback for you,” the brain usually interprets these words as an attack. A common response is defensiveness.

While we have all been on the receiving end of criticism – that uncomfortable conversation often toned down by pleasantries – it is neither easy to give nor take.

Resisting receiving constructive feedback does not make the feedback disappear, nor does it improve your effectiveness: Feedback is a gift, not a punishment. Resisting feedback keeps a person from improving. View criticism as an opportunity to grow. 

While receiving positive feedback is encouraging, receiving constructive feedback can be difficult. Even though everyone makes mistakes and has room to improve, accepting constructive feedback in a positive way is still a challenge. 

Dealing with criticism is a part of life. Criticism can result in aggression, ill-feeling and stress but it does not have to be like this. Work on being a less sensitive person. Learn how to be more emotionally stable and deal with negative judgements.

Why validation matters

Validation is a communication skill that can help both parties in a conversation feel heard and understood. It shows that you are truly listening to understand the other person’s feelings and point of view, even if you disagree. 

Validation is particularly important during emotionally charged situations. It can be really hard to listen and respond to someone in an understanding way when you are upset, or your experience differs from theirs. 

An empathetic, nonjudgmental response can reduce how often and how severe conflict is when it surfaces, which can help you improve your relationships. 

On the other hand, responses that are dismissive, defensive, or rejecting tend to escalate arguments and lead to misunderstandings, and they can make you or the other person feel unimportant, angry, or ignored.

Some people may be reluctant to validate someone they think is wrong. Validation is not agreeing. It is legitimizing. It is signaling “it is OK that you feel that way, given all you've been through.”

Your relationships will benefit when you communicate that you are validating the other person’s viewpoint. If we can become more validating friends, we will make our friends feel safer, happier, and better about themselves.

Understanding your real impact on others

What it is like to deal with you? 

Do you know how your colleagues feel about working with you?

It is important to know how people experience you and how people experience themselves when interacting with you. 

The best way to find out it to get specific feedback from your co-workers to find out how you are really perceived. 

This process might be a bit uncomfortable or even tough to do, but you can’t deny the reality of other people’s feeling, reactions, and perceptions. They are neither right nor wrong. Whatever they are, you must know them and deal with them.

Many times, there is a hidden gap between what we see and what those around us see. When there is an impact disconnect (even a very subtle one) we are not as effective as we can be. 

These disconnects are called professional blind spots and despite our best intentions, these blind spots may be holding us back or preventing us from reaching our full potential.

Does perception matter?

Perception is how we interpret what is going on outside of ourselves. 

Perception molds, shapes, and influences our experience of our personal reality. It is the conclusion we jump to when we try to analyze events and behaviors of others.

Your perceptions affect the quality of your experience of life. It impacts your personal reality and ultimately your experience of life.

If you constantly perceive people like your boss or teacher as always being against you, you will most likely react in a defensive, combative, negatively reactive, and victim-like way. This way of perceiving people can lead to experiencing intense levels of unhappiness.

How to switch to a more positive perception of life?

Take personal responsibility for your past reactions and stop blaming other people. Then you can begin to see people, events, things, and even yourself from a more neutral or positive perspective.

Have a willingness to see things differently. Everything begins with a decision. Decide now to be in charge of your own perception of reality. Change of any kind requires willingness. Readiness to see things differently creates room for us to learn and create new perceptions. Things aren’t always what they seem.

Activate your pause button when triggered. Hitting “pause” and taking a moment to breathe and ground yourself into the present moment so you can choose how you will respond from a more empowered place. 

Misperceiving certain situations, likely because of previous negative experiences you have endured, can also cause you to miss out on some fantastic things life has to offer, such as promotions at work or romantic relationships.

Work-life balance

Work-life balance means different things to different people because, after all, we all have different life commitments.

In our always-on world, balance is a very personal thing, and only you can decide the lifestyle that suits 

While your job is important, it shouldn’t be your entire life. Working can provide us with the motivation to strive for success in our lives. However, life should not revolve around your job. You should be making the most out of your career while also living life to the fullest.

Do not let life pass you by. Maintaining a healthy work-life balance can play a huge part in your happiness. You need time to switch off from work, so make sure you allow yourself to do it.

Being stuck to your phone, tablet, or laptop, can disconnect you from reality. Force yourself away from your devices when you get home at night, and you’ll find that you will begin to appreciate the world around you more fully.

Do not be afraid to unplug. Cutting ties with the outside world from time to time allows us to recover from weekly stress and gives us space for other thoughts and ideas to emerge.

It is a challenge, both for those of us who love our work and those of us who don’t.

Can lack of sleep affect your weight?

If you are struggling with obesity or a related issue, prioritizing your sleep can help you become a healthier individual.

Sleep plays an important role in weight management. 7 to 9 hours of sleep each night helps with hormone regulation. 

Sleeping too little increases levels of ghrelin and decreases levels of leptin. Ghrelin is a hormone that makes us feel hungry while leptin makes us feel full. This may cause us to feel hungrier and overeat.

Sleep impacts overall health, and people who have healthier sleep patterns manage health factors such as weight, blood pressure or risk for Type 2 diabetes more effectively.

Though sleep needs vary from person to person, most adults require between 7 and 9 hours of sleep per night.

Sleep deprivation may increase your appetite and cause you to eat more calories. You are more likely to eat foods high in sugar and unhealthy fat.

People with excess weight need others to understand them

Having the right people around can help you stay on track with your weight loss plan but avoid depending on others to keep you motivated. 

It is good to have support but, with or without it, you are strong enough to reach your goals. 

Friends and family may not be the best people to look for encouragement and motivation for weigh loss. They might be surprised and resistant to seeing you change your ways.  

Try building a support network by joining an online community where you can connect with people who have similar goals. You will have ways to find new ideas, vent your frustration and meet people with similar or the same problems when losing weight. 

Whatever your situation, an online weight loss community is a great way to connect with people who understand your experience from a firsthand perspective and are willing to lend an ear. 

Recognize the importance of give and take. Express your appreciation for support and be ready to return the favor and help others achieve their wellness goals.

It is amazing how the Internet can connect strangers with little in common besides the goal of losing weight. Finding support for your weight-loss efforts can mean the difference between success and failure.

Health is like freedeom

Health is important to live life to the fullest. When a person leads a healthy lifestyle, the body remains healthy, and the mind is active and fresh. 

Living a healthy life would extend longevity and also regenerate the body and mind. Having good health is of core importance to human happiness.

Health, like freedom lasts as long as we exert ourselves to maintain it. 

You must make your choice! It is almost exclusively in your hands whether you enjoy a healthy, vigorous life or live out a half-life. You can decide to travel the average (unhealthy) road. No one will stop you and you will have lots of company.

You should care deeply about getting healthy and staying healthy. Dropping a few pounds can make a big difference. 

Looking at the big picture, the researchers say losing 10 percent of your body weight may be enough to do the trick. But even those who can’t lose that much weight can still benefit from smaller amounts of sustained weight loss.

While modest amounts of weight loss can improve your health, for certain conditions, greater weight loss may be associated with greater improvements.

Being obese or overweight makes you more likely to have conditions including:

• Heart disease and stroke
• High blood pressure
• Diabetes
• Some cancers
• Gallbladder disease and gallstones
• Osteoarthritis
• Gout
• Breathing problems, such as sleep apnea (when a person stops breathing for short episodes during sleep) and asthma

Not everyone who is obese has these problems. The risk rises if you have a family history of one of those conditions.

Decide daily that you want to feel strong. It is up to you! If you need more motivation, you can explore further the weight-related complications that are associated with obesity.

Why do we regain weight so easily?

Some people can lose weight relatively quickly. However, as you may have personally found out the hard way, the story rarely ends there. 

Anyone who has tried to lose weight and keep it off knows how difficult the task can be. Regaining lost weight is a common occurrence for many people who lost weight and almost everyone who struggles with weight has been there.

Why do so many people regain weight after successful dieting? The simple answer is that people regain weight because they aren’t following the diet as strictly as they did in the beginning. Easier said than done, I know. 

Why is that? Why are people who lose weight faced with the fact that the odds are stacked against them for long-term success?

I read that after we lose weight, our body responds with a variety of mechanisms. When you lose a significant amount of weight, your metabolism actually slows down because of a mechanism known as "metabolic adaptation." Less energy is needed to “run” the smaller body.

Our hormones also change, which affects our appetite. Ghrelin levels (the “hungry hormone”) increases and the hormones that make you feel full and satiated after a meal decrease.

Persistent weight maintenance is so difficult to me, because when I eat food that does not support weight loss, I usually overeat. Consuming these foods makes it hard to control weight and I know that when I eat them for a day or two, I derail my weight loss/maintenance efforts.

Ultra-processed foods are designed to be irresistible, and to prompt overconsumption. Once we start eating them, it is very difficult to stop. We absorb them quickly and as a result, our bodies do not release the hormones that trigger fullness – and we keep eating. It is a vicious circle. This is my key eating “bad” behavior that leads to weight gain. 

What can we do to counter this? 

Here is what I need to focus on more and do that every single day.

• Maintain changes that have resulted in your weight loss.
• Be vigilant, watch your weight, keep a scale in your bathroom and use it once a day. 
• Take action when you have gained 5 pound or more. 
• Avoid empty calories (alcohol).
• Understand of the danger posed by ultra-processed food.
• Identify your triggers to overeat. Watching movies is my main trigger, but it could be anything like stress, fatigue, boredom, skipping meals.
• Get needed sleep and reduce stress in order to focus on healthy choices and avoid the weight gains associated with too little sleep and too much stress.

I believe we can break the cycle of weight loss and gain. 

Getting a handle on food during hard times

When life seems to be spinning out of control whether it is a difficult situation at work, troubled finances, a stressful marriage or relationship, you feel that you can no longer limit your food choices. Food is then your number one drug of choice. 

Ever been there? I have.

Whether we are at the beginning, in the middle, or having just reached our weight-loss goals, focusing on what you don’t eat will make us feel constantly deprived. And deprivation leads to frustration, desperation, and potentially failure. 

Instead, we have to focus on everything we are gaining through this process. It is always helpful to remind yourself that what we are giving up in the short term will help us get what we really want in the long run.

No matter what issue you are currently dealing with, remember that setbacks are not failures. They are a temporary interruption in our path. You can have a bad day, a bad week, month, or even year, but you can always start where you are and change your own ending. 

Weakness does not mean defeat. Mistakes are part of existence as no one is perfect. Mistakes help you learn and grow in life. They create the opportunity for new thinking. New and expanded points of view are generally a good thing.

While current reality can be challenging and disappointing, by taking a longer-term view, you can reassure yourself that current realities will shift, and good things will come—ultimately—from today’s experiences and lessons.

When life is hard, make sure that the foods you are reaching for aren’t only packaged snacks and be sure to include things like fruits and non-starchy vegetables in your snack choices.

Eat healthy during office hours

Considering that on average, we spend most of our waking hours at work, it only makes sense that the food choices we make at work can have a significant impact on our ability to lose weight.

Office environment with an endless list of corporate events that provide a readily available feast of sugary indulgence can easily sabotage even the most willful dieter. 

We can’t avoid the employer events that involve food. We just have to figure out the best approach to deal with temptations at those events. Make sure that you don’t show up hungry and focus on interacting with people, not eating. Show up with confidence knowing you have the tools and mindfulness needed to enjoy everything about the event.

Peers' attitudes and behavior are linked to success in weight loss. While peers' encouragement helps, dieting failures or negative attitudes among colleagues can discourage people from sticking to their own weight-loss plan.

Co-workers who try to tempt you even though they know you are dieting, or who try to make you feel silly or even guilty for trying to stay healthy, can be the biggest stumbling blocks to eating healthy at the office.

When it comes to the office, your co-workers are your peers, and you might even spend more time with them than anyone else. Ideally, just as in your regular life, you'll find co-workers with the same common goals of a healthy lifestyle. 

I am lucky to work in an office where the environment is generally healthy. My most important co-worker brings a salad to work every day and I am inspired by his healthy eating. However, many (if not most) office environments are not quite like mine.

No matter what your office environment is like, you can still take action to make sure your workdays are healthy and energizing, not enervating and fattening.

Craving sugar can be controlled

Many people struggle with sugar cravings. I am one of them.

Our modern lifestyle often includes processed foods, irregular sleep schedules, artificial light, and inactivity. These factors all contribute to sugar cravings, weight gain, and mood problems.

Yes, I am addicted to sugar. It became obvious after eating not a healthy food lunch last week. I felt hunger for something sweet after my lunch and I supplemented it with four bars of chocolate snack. That made me realize that sugar controls me.

I am writing this post to help me go back to eating food that supports weigh lose and overall health.

Craving sugar when I do not need to eat can be controlled.  I know I can override it. It will help me to physically and mentally feel better. I will be able to handle stress and overcome daily challenges more effectively. And I do not want to hunger for something sweet half an hour after my lunch or dinner every day. 

The answer lies in my choice of foods at main meals and generally resuming the eating style that helped me lose 91 pounds in the past. One of the pillars on my method was not allowing myself to become hungry. That is what I will focus on to help me move away from craving sugar.

Giving up sugar can feel unpleasant. Getting there will be tough and fighting off the cravings will be a constant battle.  

I don’t want my next blood test to show that I am close to pre-diabetic, or worse yet, already in that level. That fear will be my best motivator.

Demonstrate physically that I am listening

This year, I want to continue to try to improve my listening to my team at work and those I am closest to in life outside work.

To show that I am listening, I make eye contact with the speaker and react to their words. I don’t just smile and nod to be polite. I react authentically and show the speaker that I am interested. It is normal and usually encouraging for the listener to look at the speaker. 

While maintaining eye contact is the key, I want my eye contact to be gentle and not too firm as it can come across as intimidating. Yes, eye contact can be intimidating, especially for more shy speakers, so I maintain eye contact without staring or glaring. I try to gauge how much eye contact is appropriate for any given situation, and of course, I combine eye contact with smiles and other non-verbal messages to encourage the speaker. 

Activating smile power, when appropriate, is always a good approach, and I hope that my genuine smile tells those around me that I am approachable, cooperative, and trustworthy. Facial expressions trigger corresponding feelings, so the smile I get back, hopefully changes that person’s emotional state in a positive way.

I also keep reminding myself that I have to control my need to contribute to the conversation. It is a particularly good rule to keep in mind for anybody in a management or leadership position, because anything you say can quickly overwhelm a discussion and make people shut down. 

Perception is a powerful thing, so I do want to look like I am listening. You will probably think that I try to manipulate the perception for my audience, but my intentions are good here. It may be unavoidable, if I am to continue to make a conscious effort to demonstrate a better listener’s body language. 

The more conscious I am of these factors; the easier active listening will be for me.

How I practice active listening

Have you ever had a conversation with someone, and while they are talking you say, “I see,” “Hmm,” or even “Interesting”… but when they are finished, you ignore everything they said and go in with your pre-planned response? That’s called passive listening. 

When we practice active listening, we make the other person feel heard and valued. In this way, active listening is the foundation for any successful conversation. It serves the purpose of earning the trust of others and helping you to understand their situations. 

Active listening at work is particularly important if you are in a supervisory position or interact with colleagues. Active listening allows you to understand problems and collaborate to develop solutions.

I am trying to do better with active listening. Today I am sharing some of my verbal behaviors to show that I listen well when somebody talks to me. My next post will be about nonverbal behaviors I use to indicate I am paying attention. 

To show that I understand what the person is saying I paraphrase what the other person is saying to show you get the meaning. I ask open ended question. I ask questions that don’t have a simple “yes” or “no” answer to keep the conversation flowing. 

In addition, I try to include validation. I reinforce what the person is saying by indicating I understand. I also use the speaker’s name. That helps the person feel more valued by repeating their name at various points in the conversation or when I want to show I hear them.

It is pretty easy to nod my head and even easier to use the other person’s name. However, showing that I am not only paying attention but also comprehending takes some practice.

I remain committed to practice active listening and become better listener. I will also remember that listening is an active contribution to conversational dynamics rather than a passive act of receiving information.

Feeling a little anxious

If you are feeling a little anxious right now, you are not alone. At times like this, it is easy for fear to creep in and leave us feeling unsure of ourselves and afraid of the future.

After two years of a pandemic that has no end in sight, I feel burnt out and exhausted. 

Reflecting on such difficult times, made me approach 2022 resolution differently.

I did not make New Year's resolution. But just because I did not make pledge to make changes at the beginning of this year, it doesn't mean I am not interested in self-improvement. 

Here are my specific goals/changes, I want to commit to in 2022.

• Resolve to connect with my friends at least once a week
• Spend more time outside on a daily basis
• Listen better
• Revisit any goals that I abandoned during the pandemic
• Build self-care into your daily routine, like making time for a daily walk
• Set healthy boundaries with people who tend to drain my energy
• Get up and move my body regularly

Setting goals and making room for reflection can positively shape our lives. We still have so many choices, even though a global pandemic continues.