Validation is a communication skill that can help both parties in a conversation feel heard and understood. It shows that you are truly listening to understand the other person’s feelings and point of view, even if you disagree.
Validation is particularly important during emotionally charged situations. It can be really hard to listen and respond to someone in an understanding way when you are upset, or your experience differs from theirs.
An empathetic, nonjudgmental response can reduce how often and how severe conflict is when it surfaces, which can help you improve your relationships.
On the other hand, responses that are dismissive, defensive, or rejecting tend to escalate arguments and lead to misunderstandings, and they can make you or the other person feel unimportant, angry, or ignored.
Some people may be reluctant to validate someone they think is wrong. Validation is not agreeing. It is legitimizing. It is signaling “it is OK that you feel that way, given all you've been through.”
Your relationships will benefit when you communicate that you are validating the other person’s viewpoint. If we can become more validating friends, we will make our friends feel safer, happier, and better about themselves.
