Demonstrate physically that I am listening

This year, I want to continue to try to improve my listening to my team at work and those I am closest to in life outside work.

To show that I am listening, I make eye contact with the speaker and react to their words. I don’t just smile and nod to be polite. I react authentically and show the speaker that I am interested. It is normal and usually encouraging for the listener to look at the speaker. 

While maintaining eye contact is the key, I want my eye contact to be gentle and not too firm as it can come across as intimidating. Yes, eye contact can be intimidating, especially for more shy speakers, so I maintain eye contact without staring or glaring. I try to gauge how much eye contact is appropriate for any given situation, and of course, I combine eye contact with smiles and other non-verbal messages to encourage the speaker. 

Activating smile power, when appropriate, is always a good approach, and I hope that my genuine smile tells those around me that I am approachable, cooperative, and trustworthy. Facial expressions trigger corresponding feelings, so the smile I get back, hopefully changes that person’s emotional state in a positive way.

I also keep reminding myself that I have to control my need to contribute to the conversation. It is a particularly good rule to keep in mind for anybody in a management or leadership position, because anything you say can quickly overwhelm a discussion and make people shut down. 

Perception is a powerful thing, so I do want to look like I am listening. You will probably think that I try to manipulate the perception for my audience, but my intentions are good here. It may be unavoidable, if I am to continue to make a conscious effort to demonstrate a better listener’s body language. 

The more conscious I am of these factors; the easier active listening will be for me.

How I practice active listening

Have you ever had a conversation with someone, and while they are talking you say, “I see,” “Hmm,” or even “Interesting”… but when they are finished, you ignore everything they said and go in with your pre-planned response? That’s called passive listening. 

When we practice active listening, we make the other person feel heard and valued. In this way, active listening is the foundation for any successful conversation. It serves the purpose of earning the trust of others and helping you to understand their situations. 

Active listening at work is particularly important if you are in a supervisory position or interact with colleagues. Active listening allows you to understand problems and collaborate to develop solutions.

I am trying to do better with active listening. Today I am sharing some of my verbal behaviors to show that I listen well when somebody talks to me. My next post will be about nonverbal behaviors I use to indicate I am paying attention. 

To show that I understand what the person is saying I paraphrase what the other person is saying to show you get the meaning. I ask open ended question. I ask questions that don’t have a simple “yes” or “no” answer to keep the conversation flowing. 

In addition, I try to include validation. I reinforce what the person is saying by indicating I understand. I also use the speaker’s name. That helps the person feel more valued by repeating their name at various points in the conversation or when I want to show I hear them.

It is pretty easy to nod my head and even easier to use the other person’s name. However, showing that I am not only paying attention but also comprehending takes some practice.

I remain committed to practice active listening and become better listener. I will also remember that listening is an active contribution to conversational dynamics rather than a passive act of receiving information.

Feeling a little anxious

If you are feeling a little anxious right now, you are not alone. At times like this, it is easy for fear to creep in and leave us feeling unsure of ourselves and afraid of the future.

After two years of a pandemic that has no end in sight, I feel burnt out and exhausted. 

Reflecting on such difficult times, made me approach 2022 resolution differently.

I did not make New Year's resolution. But just because I did not make pledge to make changes at the beginning of this year, it doesn't mean I am not interested in self-improvement. 

Here are my specific goals/changes, I want to commit to in 2022.

• Resolve to connect with my friends at least once a week
• Spend more time outside on a daily basis
• Listen better
• Revisit any goals that I abandoned during the pandemic
• Build self-care into your daily routine, like making time for a daily walk
• Set healthy boundaries with people who tend to drain my energy
• Get up and move my body regularly

Setting goals and making room for reflection can positively shape our lives. We still have so many choices, even though a global pandemic continues.

Every year is a journey

Every year is a journey that your heart goes on. Staying healthy and strong along the path of life is a hope that each of us holds on to. And it is a hope that can become a lovely reality. 

Though the roads we take can sometimes be difficult, those are often the ones that lead to the most beautiful views. 

The world is amazing place, and life is an adventure that can surprise you every day. 

Many of the moments ahead will be disguised as ordinary days. But each one of us has the chance to make something extraordinary out of them.

Be good to your body. It is the only one you get.  Listen to the wishes of your heart. It always seems to know what is true, what is right, what to do, and where to go with your life.

In 2022, I wish you stars to reach for, dreams to come true, and memories more beautiful than words can say. 

There is more to life than the number on the scale.

Christmas 2021

The holiday season tends to be associated with food. Many of us got caught up in celebratory feasts and nostalgic treats and we lose track of regular, healthy eating habits that serve us so well the rest of the year.

While it is possible to enjoy special occasion foods in moderation and maintain an overall eating pattern that supports health, this year my approach was – don't let food stress you out more. It is the season to gather with friends, family — and good food! 

Eating is more than the delivery of nutrients. We have cultural and emotional connections with the food we put into our body. 

The holidays are not a time to add extra pressure on yourself to eat a certain way. I believe that spending time with family members or friends you don’t typically see should be an enjoyable experience. An occasional indulgence during the holidays isn’t something to stress about.

This Christmas, wife had had to travel, and no kids were coming to visit. I was going to celebrate holidays with my two dogs.  The day before, text message arrived from my neighbors Karen and James inviting me to their house for Christmas dinner. 

The experience was incredible. All dinner meals were Louisiana style foods that I never had before. The food was great, and I enjoyed their company. The names of the foods that Karen and James cooked were difficult to remember, so I asked James to write them down for me and I am posting them here.  

Thank you, Karen and James!

Eat your way to weight loss and health

Today can be the first day of your healthier, stronger life. Focus on what you are eating and drinking today. Eating your way to weight loss and health is about real, unprocessed food. Food that makes your body say, “Thank you. This feels so good!”. Eating real food will change your life. Practically every single aspect of your life is about to get a major upgrade. 

When you upgrade your eating habits, the shift is immediate and profound. Withing a week, you will feel and see changes. You will start to feel better. Withing two to three weeks, you will start looking different. With a month, your blood tests and lab results can reflect all kinds of positive changes. So much can change in a short span of time. You will be amazed.

If you want to pick up just one or two small changes, that is fine, and it is better than nothing at all. You decide if you want to go step by step or make a series of changes. Either way is best if it works for you. Cold turkey approach worked best for me. 

Real food does not have to be boring and bland. It can be delicious. Switching to real food does not mean you are sacrificing flavor. You are simply upgrading your ingredients for the best of the bets. Also, once you switch to real food, you will notice that your preference change. After about two weeks, your teste buds regenerate. 

Real food is not fussy and complicated. It is the opposite of complicated. It is simple. Eating real food is all about ease and simplicity. You don’t need to measure portions. You don’t need to be obsessive about calories. You don’t need to spend twenty-four hours in the kitchen, following complicated recipes with dozens of ingredients. BTW, I do not cook. The most complicated meal that I ever cooked was scrambled eggs. 

It is time to break the cycle, kick the habit, and step into your new life of health and well-being. It is time for a permanent shift, not a temporary one. It is important to remember that is not a “five-week diet.” It is a new lifestyle, not temporary blip.

Follow the principles that worked me and others, and it will lead you into a new way of eating and living.

Thanksgiving is one day

I am posting a picture taken in the kitchen this morning. If you have or ever had a dog, you will understand it. Now a few thoughts on Thanksgiving.

If you want to enjoy your Thanksgiving holiday and stay on track with you wight loss efforts you are facing an impossible task. 

Many traditional Thanksgiving dishes, like turkey, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, and other veggie side dishes are pretty healthy choices so theoretically you can have a balanced meal at Thanksgiving. 

However, if you worry about your food intake because of your body image struggles and/or try to avoid added calories like deserts and alcohol you may become frustrated, less happy and miserable.

You don’t want to dampen the celebration by focusing too much on calories or avoiding certain foods when you are with friends and family for Thanksgiving dinner. It’s just one day!  

Yes, Thanksgiving is one day. Don't let the big meal become a big month or more of eating and drinking too much. Instead, splurge for the holiday, but get back to your healthy eating plan on Friday.

I know it is a radical departure from the thoughts that I used to share with you at Thanksgiving.

I just think that Thanksgiving Day is not the best time to keep thinking about nutrition and your weight loss efforts. Losing weight is different for everyone and on this blog, I share what works for me.