There is a difference between listening hearing. One is more active and requires effort, while the other is involuntary and natural. To master learning and communication, it takes both hearing and listening.
Reflect on an occasion when you had something to say, something important or vulnerable to share, and you knew you had the full attention of the other person. That level of attention, when you know the other person is really listening to you, makes you feel valued.
Now think about a time when you had something to say, but you didn’t get that level of attention. The other person was distracted or disinterested, and you felt ignored, diminished, and inconsequential.
A good conversation can be a learning opportunity but when we interrupt our conversational partner, we lose a valuable chance to learn. Some people are impatient and they only pretend to listen.
When we listen, really listen to what others have to say, their insight may surprise you. When we don’t interrupt, but wait, allowing others to finish sometimes we learn that we can’t anticipate what they will share.
No matter how good a listener we believe we are, it is possible to listen more closely.
I know I could improve my communication skills to be a better listener.
The best way to understand people is to listen to them.
ReplyDeleteIt is about being comfortable not knowing what you're going to say next, or what question you might ask.
ReplyDeleteYes. Just asked people who are paid to listen intensely – spies, priests, psychotherapists, bartenders, hostage negotiators, hairdressers, air-traffic controllers, radio producers, focus group moderators.
ReplyDeleteListening is such an underappreciated skill nowadays. I am an introvert and love listening to other people, who unfortunately like to take advantage of that by... talking too much. And never asking questions back. So yeah, if anyone reading this comment is such person - please step back and try to listen to the other person as well. They will be happy and thankful.
ReplyDeleteIn my experience, I've found that listening can be helpful not only for dealing with other people but for dealing for yourself. This really applies to weight loss as I've learned because sometimes you hear and subconsciously listen to negative thoughts (like you'll never lose weight) but don't identify them as thought distortions. It's good to pay attention to what you tell yourself and dismiss the negativity and focus on positive thoughts.
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